100 Ways to Completely Piss off anyone in Naruto
by icybassclar
Summary: I think this is pretty much completed, unless I decide to renew it. Things happen! Hope to finish, I have more ammunition. In the meantime, enjoy 1-23. IBC
1. Sasuke:1 through 10

**100 of the best ways to completely Piss of Sasuke**

Trying to get makey-outy with Sakura

Show him a recording of every battle he's ever lost. Ever.

Locking him in a room with Naruto and Kiba for 12 hours

Make him watch a nature documentary

Saying crap about his clan even though they're dead except Itatchi.

Keep asking if he's gotten his third sharringan pupil yet.

Using a jutsu to manipulate his mind (Ino!)

Put him on Dr. Phil with his brother and Sakura

Have Oprah give his clan 20000 dollars to rebuild their home.

'It's okay to feel sad…' said Mr. Rodgers. Watch all Hell break loose.


	2. Sasuke's 2nd 10

The Next 10: Sasuke 

'Red pupils are so yesterday, Sasuke.'

Talk to him in complete and utter gibberish. For example, "gyhfgewhgbfwuiehfuhfuhfursugarbombygcygvyugyg"

Generously give him a Naruto Plush Doll for Christmas. He'll love it so much he'll burn it in less that 30 seconds!

Tell him Kakashi stole his sharringan from someone in his clan.

Talk like Kakashi, act like Naruto, and dress like Jiriah. And kiss like Sakura.

Have him and Rock Lee keep a conversation going for 30 minutes.

Give him 'Narut-O's for Breakfast.

Give him Choji's cell phone numba 576-768-8445 just if you want to know.

Be exactly like him. EXACTLY. **COMPLETE AND UTTERLY EXACTLY LIKE HIM.**

Have Garra and him tell each other their life stories.


	3. Sasuke's 3rd set

10 More: Sasuke 

Show him a picture of everyone's parents. For him, show Itatchi.

Tell him that the way he's going, he'll end up like Jiriah.

Get him an anger management counselor.

Make Naruto say 'Believe it!!!' until Sasuke goes nuts.

Steal Choji's Food and give it to Sasuke. Let nature take its course.

Transform into Ino and give him a big hug.

Transform into NARUTO and give him a big hug.

Transform into **ITATCHI **and give him a HUGE hug.

Lock him in a room with millions of Sasuke Fangirls.

Have everyone in the village stare at him with an open, astonished mouth and bulging, disgusted eyes.


	4. Sasuke's 4th sentence to cruelty

**Even more cruelty to: Sasuke**

1) Sign him up for preschool under the name 'foofy diaper-face.'

2) SMIIILLEE!!!!!!!

3) SEXY JUTSU TIME!!

4) Ino: Hey Sasuke, I have a surprise for you!

Sasuke: What is it?

Ino: Just close your eyes and step into this box here.

Sasuke: Whatever… (closes eyes)

Ino (whispers): Giggle! Psst! Sakura! It's time for operation makeover!

Sasuke: Jihhg! What???

Both girls: GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE!!!!!!

5) Summon Gama the Toad

6) Donkey + Sasuke + Sakura + a really cruel prank by Ino extremely funny results

Ino: YOUR CHARRIOT AWAITS, SASUKE!

7) "You're just a cute little cutie, Sasuke!'

8) 'Can I meet your parents, Sasuke? You're such an angel, and I'd love to know the geniuses who raised you!'

9) (In relation to set 3): Transform into **GARRA** and give him a **GIANT** hug

10) Sasuke appreciation day……sponsored by the makers of Narut-O's


	5. The 5th wave: Le' Sasuke

**Yet another 10 ways for: _Le' Sasuke_**

Make him a human green screen

'Sasuke, meet Peewee Herman.'

Change his iTunes sound track to Sakura going CHA!

'Peewee Herman, meet your new husband'

Peewee Herman (with his weird voice): Oh Joy!

…………Time travel. Where? Use your imagination.

Graphic images of his parents dying over and over. In HD. Very HD.

Fan Boys? Fan Girls? Fan-its? Fan 'no gender selected's?

WOW.

Extreme Makeover: Itatchi Edition

Text massage mania + Two minute a year plan + Choji – Let the paranoia begin.


	6. The 6th of 10: Sasukekun

I almost forgot: I own no manner of Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Choji, Ino, Jariya, Kakashi, Shikamaru, or Narut-O's!

**The 6th of 10: Sasuke-kun**

(By Masashi (Thanks!)) Label all of Sasuke's stuff "Property of Itachi"

Better yet, literally ALL of his stuff. Clothes, dishes, his person…

Pink…Paint…Bath

(Set 3 and 5) Change his iPod to Naruto saying "Believe it!!!" until he cracks

Furry, adorable kittens with bladder problems. Let loose in house and stir until golden yellow.

'Ha Ha! You don't have parents! Even though it's not your fault, still! Ha Ha!

Gaara's better than you… Gaara's better than you… Gaara's better than you…

'Sasuke, why is your skin pink? Your hair's pink, too. What's with that?'

'How many times have you saved Naruto's life? So far, he's saved your life, like 3 times.'

Have Hinata stalk Sasuke like she stalks Naruto every day.

Thanks for any reviews any of you have posted. That encourages me to keep torturing Sasuke! See you in set 7. Bye!


	7. 7th heaven: for a person called sasuke

The fiction of fan called: How to completely piss off anyone in Naruto: for the person called Sasuke (7th Heaven)

Number 1: Naruto Fan Flashes.

Number 2: _Ludovico _Nature Documentary

Number 3: 'Hello, Sasuke! Looks like Naruto beat Garra **FOR** you, huh?'

Number 4: Everybody loves Sasuke! (A Narut-O's Sponsered TV Production)

Number 5: Tea party at Naruto's house!

Number 6: Pamper him with a breakfast in bed of Narut-O's, Narut-Orange Juice, and Naru-Toast.

Number 7: Sasuke, what if everyone in the village had YOUR attitude towards YOU?

Number 8: Sakumarutomanakakiminchiganata. All in one convenient package.

Number 9: Totally clueless for everything. Even walking

El numero 10-o: Sakura: _Let's get busy, Sasuke-kun._


	8. The 8th list of fun: Sasuke

**The 8th List of Fun…Sasuke**

----'Today we will be learning the art of finger-painting. What's that, Foofy Diaper-Face?'

---- Orochimaru: _Let's get busy, Sasuke-kun._

---- Itatchi: _Let's get busy, Sasuke-kun._

---- 50-off sale at "Heart-Mart!" "The place for soulless people!"

---- Take a stay at the Hinata Hotel! We have the perfect room for **YOU!** It's like we stalk you every day!

---- Loser.

---- Choji: Wanna' muffin? How 'bout some BBQ chips? I have a taste for tostadas!

---- 'Didn't you hear, Sasuke? It's _spontaneously break out in song _day!!

---- Naruto: Now that I'm hokage, do you feel sorry at all for calling me a **LOSER????**

**---- **Anything more quirky andenergetic than Naruto.


	9. 9: Enter Sasuke

**WOOHOO!! WE'RE ALMOST DONE! 9: Enter Sasuke**

---- Lee: Sasuke…(blushes) there's something I've always wanted to tell you…

---- Giggle and whisper something whenever he walks by

---- Become a helpless fan-person.

---- Seriously, follow him around all day showing him new fan arts done by you and key chains dedicated to him

---- Wait! I've got it… All of the fan stuff you show him centers on him being married to Sakura or Gaara.

---- No! This is the best… while doing all of the above, try to harass him in any manner you see fit besides fanboyism.

---- 'You should know better Sasuke. Kakashi even TOLD you not to use Chidori 3 times.'

---- Tattoo his curse mark onto him.

---- Get a tattoo of his curse mark so that you can say that being around Sasuke is the only cure

---- Promote the Hinata Hotel.


	10. SASUKE'S LAST LIST

**The Best of Sasuke's Torture list**

----Kakashi (Red with embarrassment): Sasuke, Remember when I called you 'my Sasuke'? It was more than just a taunt…(Blushes)

----Use some sort of machine or irreversible jutsu to transform him into Naruto.

----Give Naruto 100 shots of caffeine and make him follow Sasuke for 30 minutes.

----Forge a note in Sasuke's handwriting to Sakura saying that Sasuke finally means business in their relationship. When Sasuke finds out, tell him it was Lee.

----(Thanks to whoever) Teach him to smile. Slap him when he fails.

----'Sasuke, you need braces.'

----'So what if your parents are dead, Sasuke? You still have a brother.'

----Congratulate him on everything he does. Everything.

----'It's all fun and games until someone uses Chidori three times and kills themselves, Sasuke.'

**THE LAST ONE:** _Give him this list!_

Thank you, reviewers!

Okay. Now that I'm done, I have a favor to ask: PLEASE, PLEASE, _PLEASE_ e-mail me one of the following names so I know whom to torture next.

TEMARI

SHIKAMARU

KANKURO

TENTEN

And SARUTOBI

E-mail me at 


	11. Kankuro the first

Sasuke: _Hello, and welcome to **100 ways!**_ I'm your host, Sasuke-Kun!

Icy Bassoon: No you're not.

Sasuke: Anyways, I hope y'all had a good rest, 'cause we're going to torture some more people!! Isn't that great?

Icy Bassoon: No. Get off stage.

Sasuke: Our next victim is…(_reads from card_)… KANKURO!! Come on out. Kankuro, and give yourself a pat on the back for taking part in our torture show!

Kankuro: _It wasn't my decision. Get it over with._

Sasuke: Let's hit the readers with 1 through 10!

Icy Bassoon: _FOR THE LAST TIME, SASUKE, GET OFF STAGE!_

Sasuke: Ready? Let 's go!

**KANKURO: 1 to 10.**

---- Tell him that wearing black in the desert isn't a very good idea.

---- 'Why is your outfit kitten-shaped? Any reason?'

---- 'You need to take charge, Kankuro. Show Gaara who's boss.'

---- Tell him he has middle child syndrome.

---- Hide Cro.

---- Tell him it was Temari.

---- When he can't find Cro after that, say that Temari destroyed it.

---- After all of this, tell him it was you and run like heck.

---- When he's on a date, have Gaara walk in right before he kisses his girlfriend.

Sasuke: _(If he HAS a girlfriend)_

Kankuro: HEY!

---- After that, Have Gaara hug him and then kill his girlfriend.

Sasuke: See you next chapter, folks! Review this fan fiction!

Icy Bassoon: **_SASUKE, GET OFF THE STAGE!!_**

Kankuro: Can I go now?

Icy Bassoon and Sasuke: **_NO._**


	12. Kankuro le' 2

_100 ways: Hosted by our very own Sasuke-kun of Konohagakure_

Icy Bassoon: Hi. Sorry for not updating, for I have been on vacation in HAWAI'I! Anyways, we have a killer, almost all fan-generated show for ya'alls! Let's get movi—

Sasuke: (Whispers):_ Am I on yet?_

Icy Clarinet (Behind stage):_ Sasuke, get off the stage, or we'll cut your salary of 1,000 porn magazines an hour!_

Sasuke: _Sorry._

Icy Bassoon: Anyways, let's get moving!

The Second of Kankuros 

---- Icy Clarinet: Oh, look! The Sand Bit…I mean, Temari, Is taking Cro!

---- Icy Clarinet: Now she's stuffing Cro inside Gaara's gourd!

---- Icy Clarinet: Now she's gone and told Gaara to destroy the gourd! _OH, Temari…_

---- Yell **CAT MAN!!!** When he walks by.

---- Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke

---- Barney song.

---- Icy Clarinet: Now she's selling Kankuro's virginity on E-Bay!

---- Sasuke: I like the face paint! Who's your stylist?

---- (Put to music) Teenage mutant ninja kitty!

---- Piplup: Knock, Knock!

Kankuro: Who's there?

Piplup: Interrupting cow!

Kankuro: Interrupting c

Piplup: **MOO!**

Kankuro:…………

Icy Bassoon: Tune in next time for more nonstop fun on_ 100 ways!_

Sasuke:_ When do I get my salary?_

Icy Clarinet: (Breaks Sasuke's Skull) **SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	13. The Kankuros, Three

_100 ways- Co-hosted by Sasuke-kun and IB and IC_

IB and IC: Sup, ya'all!

Sasuke: Hey!

IC: Anyways, you know the drill. LET'S HIT IT!

Sasuke (clueless): Hit what?

IB: _Your salary, Sasuke._

Sasuke: But… I LOVE MY PORN!!

IB and IC: **SO?**

Sasuke (In a panic): Um, shouldn't we be starting by now? Uh…Uhh… LET'S GO, PEOPLE!

The Kankuros, three. (3rd edition)

---- Piplup: Those dolls are SO CUTE! CAN I PLAY WITH THEM?

---- Piplup: I've taken the liberty of cutting Cro's strings for you, Kankuro! (Wait, the strings are like its hair, right? They grow back?)

---- Icy Bassoon: How pathetic! Keeping drugs in your puppets is a terrible way to get your daily Marijuana intake._ Seriously…_

---- Get him to take a scrap booking class.

---- Inject Cro's poison into Kankuro.

(Kankuro: _Pretty colors! So fuzzy and purple!)_

---- Create a show called Leave it to Cat Man.

---- Kankur-O's?

---- _Welcome to "Leave it to Cat Man!" Sponsored by the makers of _Kankur-O's.

---- Piplup: So, which of Gaara's victims is Cro based off of?

---- Make him watch Naruto, but replace him with a fat, irresponsible actor.

IB: I haven't been getting a lot of reviews, lately, so please revew…

Sasuke: …And enjoy the rest of this Fan Fiction…

IC: …And we'll see you next time on…

All three: **100 WAYS!**


	14. Kankuro 4: The 3rd sequel to the first

100 Ways: Hosted by Sasuke-kun and brought to you by Hinata's delicious Kankuro Crackers

Sasuke: (whispers) Uhhh, hey. Look, I gotta' wrap this up quick. Icy Bassoon's gonna' be here any minute. Okay, let's get this movin'!

**Kankuro 4: The sequel to the sequel to the sequel to the original.**

---- IC: (casually) Hey, uh, Kankuro? I'm going to the store. Do you want any Catnip?

---- IC: How about some kitty litter? Wait… Why is your eye all twitching and stuff?

---- IC: Tuna?

(Several broken bones later…)

---- Piplup: Hey IB and IC, I'm gonna' watch Cat Man the Movie. Wanna' join? How about you, Kankuro? Why's his eye all twitching, IC?

---- IB: Hey Kankuro, do you have A.D.D.? Your eye twitches a LOT.

Kankuro: (eye twitches)

IB: See?

(Several **more** broken bones later…)

---- IC: Nice leotard, Kankuro.

---- IB: Damn! The shower's broken! Kankuro, can you lick me clean?

---- IB: Ahhrrg! The washing machine's broken, too! Kankuro, can you lick the laundry too?

---- Teletubbies.

---- Lock him in a room with Akamaru, Naruto, Kiba, A stripper Hinata, and a porn addicted Neji.

Sasuke: (whispers) Thank you and see you next cha-

IB: (yawns) What the hell are you doing in my house, Sasuke?

Sasuke: Oh, crap…


	15. Kankuro Feevay

**Ummm… Part two, Chapter Five?**

Sasuke (Bored): _WelcometoahundredwaysI'myourhostsasukekunlet'sgivethereadersanotherlist._

IB: Sasuke, is something wrong?

Sasuke (Bored again):_ EverscinceIstartedsnortingcrystalmethdI'vebeenkindofofflateleysoI'mjustgoingto…_

(Sasuke passes out)

IC: Umm, okay…

IB: You can snort crystal meth? _(I gotta try that sometime…)_

IC: WHAT?

IB: Nothing! Let's go!

Kankuro Feevay 

--- (Put to music) I want chicken; I want liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix Please deliver…

--- IB: That's a song to go on his iPod, for sure.

--- Have him star in Fairly Odd Parents with the Crimson Chin and Catman.

--- Catman: Hey, he stole my leotard!

--- Burn his clothes in broad daylight. (He might catch on fire, though.)

--- Actually set him on fire, but somehow make him unable to die.

--- Introduce him to the "New and Improved" drug-addicted Sasuke.

--- He's gonna need therapy after that one… which reminds me… give him therapy. (The therapist will need therapy after Kankuro's therapy.)

--- Relationship counseling for him and Gaara, free of charge.

--- Kankuro: All right, who stole my leotard?

Catman: (Yippee!!! I have clothes again!)

IC: We're halfway done with Kankuro, so keep pouring in suggestions so we can build off of them.

IB: Yeah.

Sasuke (still bored): _Seeyounexttimepleasereviewandhelpmequitsnortingcrystalmethmynoseandarmpithurt._

IB: (Sasuke, do have any spare meth?)

IC: _WHAT?!_

IB: It's nothing. Don't worry.

IB and IC: BYE!


	16. Can Koo Row 6

**100 Ways: Dedicated in loving memory of Sasuke-kun of Konohagakure.**

IB: Wait, loving?

IC: Yes, loving. Sasuke is under heart, nose, armpit, and lung surgery and I'm just assuming that he's dead and didn't survive. Poor Sasuke. Oh, and he's going to rehab after his surgery if he survives.

IB: Whoa… Poor Sasuke. (Sniff!) Let's (sob!) get started! (Weep!)

Can-Koo-Row Sicks 

---- IB: Step one: get a friend. That might alone annoy him since he has none.

---- IB: Step two: Actually start a conversation with said friend, which will annoy Kankuro more because he's so socially awkward.

---- IB: Step three: Avoid mentioning the subject of the conversation. Talk about it, but never speak important parts of the topic.

---- IB: Put it all together! It looks something like this:

IC: Piplup, remember that time when…

Piplup: …Yeah! I was, like, no way!

IC: And when he…

Piplup: I was rolling on the floor laughing! He was, like…

IC: …POOSH!

Piplup: God, that was funny!

IC: I know!

---- Sponsor Kankur-O's.

---- Piplup (In a crazy, maniacal laughing way): BUUURN THE PUPPETS! BUUURN THEM!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

---- Gaara: I'm sorry, Kankuro. I feel bad for all I did to you. How about a hug?

Kankuro (Paranoid): All right, who paid him to say that? (Eye twitches)

---- IC: Maybe you should go to rehab, too, A.D.D. man.

---- Shock therapy!

---- Get him drunk and then make him hug Gaara.

IB and IC: See ya, readers! Send reviews, and stuff, so we keep going!


	17. Luck Seven of Kankuro

IC: I kinda' hate to say it, but I miss Sasuke.

IB: Me too. When do you think we'll see him again?

IC: He died last chapter, remember? 

IB: Oh yeah, right? We can't do a chapter without him. He was the glue that kept this fanfic running.

IC: Wait, who's that backstage?

Sasuke: Hey guys! I'm back!

IB: (I don't miss him anymore.)

IC: (Me neither.)

Sasuke: The rehab clinic had a really hard time fixing me. But they did it eventually!

IC: What do you mean by "fixed"?

Sasuke: I've found something to keep me away from drugs!

IB: What is it?

Sasuke: WOW!

IB: Oh god… World of Warcraft?

Sasuke: Yeah! I'm totally a level 70 wizard! I have a great relationship going with my brother and Naruto, too. And Orochimaru's fun when you get to know him. He was in rehab too! Can you believe it?

IC: (Duh.)

IB: (Kind of obvious.)

IC: (Pretty much.) Should we get going?

Sasuke: Oh, you're starting a chapter? Cool! Let me help!

IB: (I still wish he was still under surgery.) Why not? Let's go!

**Lucky number Kankuro… I mean Seven.**

---- Replace the food in his cupboard with catnip.

---- Steal Cro and give him a ball of yarn instead.

---- Whenever he enters a room have Gaara scream "LOSER!"… And then run away.

---- Back to the Cro idea, maybe you could, I don't know, give him… A CAT!

---- Temari should tell him to stop being surprised all the time and chill.

---- Strap him to a chair and interrogate him.

---- After that, make him watch a sock puppet show.

---- After that, hypnotize him to kiss Temari, TenTen, Sakura, Ino, Tsunade, and maybe Itachi.

---- Make him watch a commercial on Gaara sponsoring Kankur-O's. With its slogan: It's for everyone except Kankuro!

---- Back to Sasuke's list:

Naruto: Kankuro, you're such a loser, Loser. And I should know!

Sasuke: Allrighty, we're done.

IB: Yep.

IC: Uh-huh!

Sasuke: Umm, remember the three R's!

IB: Read!

IC: Review!

Sasuke: And most important: Umm…………… Recycle!

IC: BYE!

IB: SEE YA!

Sasuke: Whatever. I'm gonna' go play WOW.

IC: Oh, god………

IB: (We're going to need to "fix" him again.) Okay, Sasuke, go do that!


	18. Kankuro's 18th

**Sweet 18**

Sasuke (Staring at a computer screen): (Talks into a headset) Dang, Orochimaru, you HAVE to stop warping into the computer screen to play as yourself. It makes us Lvl. 70 Characters look bad!

Orochimaru: My characters are only Lvl. 30, It's only fair. Besides, I have to play in secret now that everyone knows I can warp into the computer screen. Even Jariya is starting to wonder how I do that, and he's normally staring at his "Educational Magazines"! (Sigh) This rehab center is just not a great place to play WOW anymore.

Sasuke: Whatever… Hey Orochimaru, do you ever feel like you're forgetting something important?

IB (Loud and annoyed): LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVEN'T LEFT THAT CHAIR FOR 6 DAYS AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE DROPPED FROM THE 100 WAYS SCRIPT?

Sasuke: Waaaaugh! Umm, uh, I can explain! I need to train a new warlock to Lvl. 70 to beat the final boss person!

IC: Shut up Sasuke, you already HAVE a Lvl. 70 warlock!

Sasuke: Uh…

IB: We're going to cut you from the script. STARTING NOW!

Sasuke: You guys are cruel. Right Orochimaru?

Orochimaru: Yeah! That's worse than that time I almost destroyed the hidden leaf village!

IC: C'mon, IB. Let's start a new chapter.

IB: Yes, let's!

**KANKURO'S 18****th**

---- Put together a video montage of all the times he looked surprised. Put it to a techno beat.

---- Fail him on that scrap booking class I told you to enroll him in about six lists ago.

---- Make him play "Clue" or "Monopoly", cheat like hell, and then deny it and say he's the cheater.

---- Then call him a sore loser.

---- Make him listen to calm, classical music while strapped to a chair.

---- Or make him listen to that techno beat.

----Teach him meditation. Shoot him when he fails.

---- Change his iPod to play a 15-minute track of every time someone has said loser in Naruto. Put it on Repeat 1 and break the iPod's Pause/Play button.

---- While he's sleeping, put a goat on top of him.

---- Have Gaara lip sync to " Hit Me Baby One More Time" and have him dance to it. Play at max volume for Kankuro.

IC: We love Suggestions!

IB: We love reviews!

Sasuke: I like cake!

IC: We do have a gun, Sasuke. Just play WOW and don't get involved in the show, all right? This gun is loaded.

Sasuke: (Gives thumbs up sign)

IB: Good.

IC: Bye then.

IB: C U L8R!

IC: Never talk like that again.

IB: KK LOLZORZ!


	19. knkr nntn

IB: That should do it.

IC: Just one sign?

IB: But it's a big one! Everyone will notice it!

IC: But still, you didn't put it in the best spot.

IB: I know, but-

IC: You put it on the Hokage Faces!

IB: Fine. Should I move it?

IC: No.

The sign says:

_Want to be a host? Now you can on 100 Ways to Completely Piss Off Anyone in Naruto! Audition today at Leaf-Co Studios!_

Here we go… This might get interesting.

IB: Should we start a chapter or check the auditions?

IC: Let's see who showed up, first.

IB: All right.

At the studio… 

IC: Hey everyone! Have you got what it takes to be a fanfic host?

Crowd: YEAH!

IB: Well, most of you are wrong! We're only accepting one person to host with us!

IC: …And it could be YOU!

Crowd: YEAH! WOOHOO!

IB: Let's get started!

_At the auditions…_

Ino (Peppy): I think I could be a GOOD HOST because I have the SKILLS and social HYPE to…

IC: NEXT!

Choji: Does this job have free food?

IB: NEXT!

Kiba: I…

IB: NEXT!

Temari: I think that…

IC: You should get off stage. NEXT!

Jariya: …

IB and IC: NEXT!

Kakashi: Although I look freakish, I…

IB: …Still have no chance of getting the part. NEXT!

Gaara: (Glares intensely)

IC: GENIUS!

IB: Absolutely. Gaara, welcome to the show.

Gaara: Awesome! Temari, I told you I'd get it! When do I start?

IC: Chapter 20. See you then, Gaara!

Gaara: 'K!

IB: Now let's start that chapter!

**KNKR NNTN (Kankuro Nineteen)**

---- When Kankuro asks you for something to drink, get him a glass of milk that says 'Gaara' on it.

---- When he notices, say 'Oops, wrong animal. Gaara's the human.' and give him a milk saucer that says 'Kankuro'.

---- Kankuro, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but Halloween was 9 months ago.

---- Say 'Here kitty, kitty' when you're behind him.

---- When he gets pissed, say ' I found you!' and hug him.

---- Put Kankur-O's in his food.

---- Put a techno beat player in the box as a prize. You know , the prizes that set themselves off in the box.

---- Read him a bedtime story.

---- Fill his room with mice.

---- Tell him that Gaara is a new host on this show.

IC: Done! Look for our other Naruto fanfics, too!

Other fanfics:

Mind of a Demon and

After the Series.

I'd just like to say that having over 50 reviews touches my heart. I am so happy that the fanfic has gotten this far, and hope to write more in the future.

Also, it helps me that over 6,000 people have even bothered to look at my fanfic, and I say hats off to you all.

See you in the next and Last Kankuro chapter.

Icy Bassoon.


	20. The Best of Kankuro

Gaara: HEY EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO:

Audience: 100 WAYS TO COMPLETELY PISS OFF ANYONE IN NARUTO!

Gaara: I'M YOUR HOST, GAARA!

Audience: (Erupts in cheers)

Gaara: MEET MY CO-HOSTS, ICY BASSOON AND CLARINET!

Audience: (Much clapping ensues)

IB: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

Audience: YEAH!!!!!

IC: ARE YOU READY FOR THE 20th CHAPTER IN THE SERIES??

Audience: YEAH!!!!

Gaara: THEN LET'S DO THIS THING!!!!

Audience: WOOHOO!!!!!!!

The Best of Kankuro 

---- Burst out laughing when he walks by.

---- Or when cats and milk are mentioned.

---- Kankuro x Hinata

---- Gaara: Why's your bed covered in milk, Kankuro? Have you been… you haven't been having cat… oh god…

---- Feed him salmon for lunch.

---- Enter him in the "Albino Pigs Rights Committee".

(It's from 'After the Series'. Read it!)

---- 741k 1n 1337 5p34k (Talk in leet speak)

---- Mail him to Uganda

---- Nail his dolls to the wall of his room.

THE LAST ONE:

---- _Give him this list!_

Gaara: WE'RE DONE WITH KANKURO!!!!

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Gaara: NOW LET'S MEET OUR NEW COMPEDITORS!!!!

Temari

Kabuto

Naruto

Sakura

And Orochimaru. (Keep in mind that he's in rehab.)

IC: BYE AND SEE YOU NEX TIME!!!!

Audience: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	21. Mystery Person: Chapter 21

IC (In the background): Aaaaand… Action!

IB: Is this microphone dead? I can't hear anything.

Gaara: Turn it on, Icy Bassoon.

IB: Oh.

Gaara: Hey Everyone! Let's try this: I'll read you the list, and you can guess who I picked for the next set! Ready? Let's go!

Chapter 21 

---- Ino Uchiha.

---- 'Sasuke turned gay. Sorry.'

---- Give her blue hair.

---- Talk all British. Then act clueless (and still be British).

---- Read all of the billboards as you walk by them with her.

---- Read 'Sakura-Chan' as one of then as you stare at her.

---- To clarify, call her billboard brow.

---- Sasuke is more of a 'black'. You should go Goth!

---- A hug from Naruto.

---- 'Sakura, look! Hey look at this! Sakura! Hey, listen! Sakura! Sakura! Check this out! You gotta' see this! Sakura! Hey!' Keep going until you're shot with a burst of red chakra.

…**Sakura.**

Gaara: If you couldn't figure out, this set is on Sakura!

IB: Review and tell us stuff to do to torture the little billboard brow!

Gaara: See you next chapter!


	22. Ms Haruno: Chapter 22

Gaara: Welcome everyone to 100 ways to Completely Piss off Anyone in Naruto. I'm your host, Gaara. These here are my co-hosts, Icy Bassoon and Clari- hey, are you guys even awake?

IB and IC: _various snorting and snoring sounds_

Gaara: Well then… Let's just get a move on. I'll handle these executive producers myself.

**Pink-Haired Girl's 2****nd**** Torture List**

---- Burst out laughing for no apparent reason.

---- When she asks, tell her Sasuke asked you on a date.

---- Tell her that the Sharingan is the new fad for aspiring Uchihas.

---- Then get Ino to start using contacts that replicate three-pupiled Sharingan eyes.

---- Narut-O's. Good times…

---- Wear red and pink from head to toe.

---- …and then tell her it's National Sakura x Gaara day.

---- Yell "FLAT!!" as she walks by.

---- Talk in Narrative First Person Form.

---- Put Sasuke on Ecstasy and make him follow her.

Gaara: Well, that's that. Sorry for the Hiatus, but the executive producers of the fan fiction were slacking off.


	23. Ino's Rival's Third Set

Piplup: Hey! Guess what? No, IC Isn't of the script. But I am a new co-host!

Gaara: What the hell are you doing here?

Piplup: Actually, I am now a new co-host for one reason and one alone!

IB: What's your reason?

Piplup: Hey Sakura, will you go out with me?

Sakura (pissed off): Hell no!!!!

Piplup: Please?

Sakura: I'll only go out with Sasuke.

Piplup: Too bad he got cut. Haha. So now you're all mine.

Sakura: You are so dead.

IC: Ok, well let's leave them alone, so say goodbye to Piplup, (probably forever)…

Gaara: Seriously, **WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE???**

Sakura: Excuse us for a moment. I need to have a private conversation with him.

Piplup: Probably to tell me the plans for our wedding. I'll see you guys later.

IB: ……Well then, let's get started. (Awkward silence)

**Ino's Rival's Third Set**

---- Gaara: So, Piplup's still single, so if you want to see your clothes again, you should go on a date with him.

Sakura: Blackmail?

Gaara: Yep.

Sakura: But I'm naked!

Gaara: Well that's too bad.

---- Listen for wedding bells and remind her of Piplup. The honeymoon won't plan itself!

---- Convince her that Sasuke hates everything so she should just move on. Wait a sec… he does.

---- IC: In all of my years of (coughcough) fashion experience, I have never seen a room with so many explicit pictures of Sasuke. Do you have a therapist?

(If she does, you might want to run away.)

---- Trick her into saying 'I do'.

---- She's at a wedding… with Piplup.

---- Gaara: Sakura, there's always been something I've needed to tell you.

Sakura: That you love me?

Gaara: (blushes) _Oh yeah baby…_

---- Give her a makeover, but not just any makeover. Oh, no. She needs to look like that diva of a girl Ino. Sasuke will fall for her for sure…

---- Okay, okay. This is going to be extremely cliché, but here goes:

Sakur-O's.

---- Piplup: Hey Sakura, I only buy Sakur-O's because your picture is on them. You… Look… GORGEOUS!!!

-

IC: Well folks, that's our show. I hope you enjoyed it, and tune in nex-

Piplup: SAVE ME!!!! SHE'S A VICIOUS ONE!!! BUT SHE'S STILL HOT, REGARDLESS!!! SAVE ME FROM THE TOTALLY HOT MONSTER!!!!

Everyone: Uhhh……

IB: Well, the group 'Uhhh' normally means the end of the show, but you'll find out if Piplup survives next show. See you ne-

Piplup: SAVE MEEEEE!!!!!!!!

IB:-xt time.

Gaara: Bye!

(Piplup: Seriously though, she's falling for me.)


End file.
